Blue Hotel
by goldengrove
Summary: Severus spends a night at Lucius and Narcissa's and contemplates the repercussions of losing his best friends


The sun had long since set when Severus Snape finally closed the door to his potions classroom and snapped the buckles of his cloak up. He strode quickly towards the front doors of the school toying briefly with the idea of taking points from the children who scurried by him, but frankly it was just too much effort. Halfway to the large front doors, Severus was intercepted.  
  
"Hello Albus," he acknowledged the older man.  
  
"Are you off, Severus?" Albus asked, looking at him gravely from behind his wire framed glasses.  
  
"Yes," Severus nodded curtly and stepped forward before the headmaster's grave look dawned on him. "Not anything like that," Severus turned to look at Albus. "I'm just off to Lucius' for the night."  
  
Albus nodded, looking decidedly more cheerful. "Take note of what he says," he said. "Take care, Severus."  
  
Severus nodded again and strode out the large doors and down to the gates of Hogwarts where he apparated to Malfoy Manor.  
  
Sometimes he didn't know if it was worth it, apparating. He felt sick to his stomach as he lurched up the path to Malfoy Manor, trying to adjust himself with his new settings. He felt better as his pounded the phoenix head knocker against the door.  
  
"Yes, sir?" A house elf answered, dressed what appeared to be a pillow sham.  
  
"Are your masters home, elf?" Severus asked impatiently, shifting from foot to foot. It was colder out than he had realized.  
  
The door opened wider as the elf recognized him, "would you like me to take you to mistress' study, sir?"  
  
"I know where it is," Severus swept inside, handing his cloak to the waiting elf. He pulled off his muddy outer shoes and walked around the grand staircase to the smaller corridor in behind.  
  
The door to Narcissa's study was slightly open and he stood at the door for several seconds watching his former Hogwarts sweetheart. She was dressed simply in a high-necked sweater and long skirt, her legs tucked underneath her as she sat on the chesterfield absorbed in her book. Two glasses sat on the coffee table, her empty vermouth glass and Lucius' half-full bourbon glass. The door to Lucius' own study stood open and he could hear movement in it.  
  
"Hello Narcissa," she jumped as he spoke then looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"Severus, m'dear!" She jumped off of the chesterfield and marked her place in her book, "how are you, darling? Have the children been treating you terribly?" She took Severus' hand and pulled him to his usual armchair, an overstuffed and extremely comfortable mash of crushed velvet and rosewood. "Lucius," Narcissa yelled into the next room, "Severus has dropped by!"  
  
"Severus has dropped by?" he repeated with an eyebrow raised. "What happened to, 'Sev's here, haul ass?'"  
  
Narcissa grinned at him saucily and headed for the small bar in the corner of the room. "Thought you might want the respectful treatment. After all, you've got to live with McGonagall the rest of the week."  
  
Severus closed his eyes and leaned back against his chair. "She's not too bad any more. Still blames everything her Gryffindors do on me, but that's to be expected."  
  
"Would you like a drink?" Narcissa accio-ed her glass from the table and refilled it.  
  
"Vodka and lemon, if you will," Severus said. He glanced at the book Narcissa had been reading, Stephen Hawking's Universe, Voldemort would not be happy.  
  
"Sev, hey," Lucius greeted Severus just as Narcissa handed him his glass. "I didn't think you'd be coming by today."  
  
Severus shrugged, "I was in the lab and got carried away."  
  
"As usual," Narcissa interjected.  
  
Severus shot her a look; "it's for Voldemort." He raised an eyebrow at the glance that Lucius and Narcissa exchanged. "Besides, locomotor mortis potion lasts much longer than the curse."  
  
"You don't need to defend yourself," Narcissa again curled up on the couch. "You should just get out of that dungeon more often. The only time we see you is. well."  
  
Instinctively, Snape gripped at his left forearm and observed Lucius make a move to do so too. "I get out." He smiled weakly. "I do get to the great hall every once in a while."  
  
Narcissa and Lucius laughed weakly. The unease in the room felt tangible, as if Snape was breathing it in. He looked at his hands for several seconds, noting where the bones stuck out and where he could trace the lines of his veins.  
  
"Why did you come here, Severus?" asked Lucius, his voice soft.  
  
Severus looked at his hands for several more seconds. "Company."  
  
"Then let's not bother with conversation." Lucius stood and started towards the bookshelf, stopping once to pat Severus on the shoulder. He smelled of bourbon and traces of patchouli cologne. "You just need some silence right now. Grab a book."  
  
Severus smiled to himself as he sat reading a chemistry/potions hybrid book. Despite their awkward conversations, Lucius and Narcissa always knew what he needed. He glanced up from the page to look at them, Lucius in an armchair, nearly asleep, Narcissa with her knees tucked up to her chin, utterly fascinated with Stephen's Hawking's Universe. And he could see himself, how the three fitted together well, like three interlocking pieces from a now defunct puzzle.  
  
And that's why it hurt to be their friend.  
  
They were his only true friends, indeed. They weren't former teachers who had become colleagues; they weren't parseltongued dark lords hell bent on the destruction of the muggle species. They were simply Lucius and Narcissa, his friends. His friends that he could blow the whistle on at any minute, taking the ministry to a dark revel, showing them Lucius and Narcissa standing together at the back of whomever's cellar had been chosen for the revel. They didn't participate, per se; they performed crucio or avada kedavra when the dark lord asked, never more, never less. Severus had convinced himself that it was because they felt ashamed of their involvement with the dark lord. He had decided that they didn't want to sully their hands with blood any more. He blocked out the fact that Lucius was invited to stand next to the dark lord at many a gathering. As far as Severus Snape was concerned, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were redeemed.  
  
But he knew the ministry wouldn't see it that way. He didn't want to see his two best friends, his only friends, reduced to slavering lunatics at the hands of the dementors. He wanted them to be by them always, but he knew that once Albus had enough information, they'd be gone. Given the same treatment as so many others, as the ones who cast crucio until their victims bled at the ears, as the ones who delighted in the torture and slaughter so much that they didn't even use their wands to commit it.  
  
"Severus," Narcissa's voice snapped him out of his tumultuous thoughts. "It's past midnight, you might want to get back to Hogwarts."  
  
Lucius was slumbering in his chair, his reading glasses dangling on the tip of his nose. Narcissa removed Lucius' glasses as well as her own and stood next to Severus' chair. "I'll walk you to the gate."  
  
Severus stood and smoothed the creases in his clothing. "Thank you, Narcissa," he offered his arm to her and they walked into the foyer where the house elves dressed them both.  
  
"I'm just walking Mr. Snape to the gate," Narcissa informed one of them. "I'll be back in several minutes. And could you please take master Malfoy up to bed? He's in my study right now."  
  
"You're nicer to them then you used to be," Severus observed as the door shut behind them. "You're getting soft in your old age, Narcissa."  
  
Narcissa laughed lightly, tucking her arm into Severus'. "If you're occasionally nice, it makes you all the more frightening, Severus." She moved closer to him, shivering against the cold. "Thank you for coming by tonight, I know we didn't talk much, but it made me feel better, seeing you."  
  
Severus nodded and they reached the gate to the manor. "Thank you for letting me come by, Narcissa."  
  
"You're always welcome," she whispered, leaning up to offer a hug, which, surprised, he returned. "You're our only friend, Severus."  
  
Yes, thought Severus wryly as he apparated, it's a more difficult war than I thought. 


End file.
